I have been on my own now for nearly four years. Quite an adjustment after being married to Diane for fifty four. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and miss her. A reality, but unfortunate part of life.

Typically, friends or/or family are guests on Thanksgiving. It has always been a holiday to share with important people in my life, but this year will be different. Family lives too far away, friends are having Thanksgiving in their new homes and with their families, so I’ll be celebrating the holiday on my own. Yes, despite my relic status, gruff personality and frumpy attire and demeanor, I have been invited to be a Thanksgiving guest with family and friends. I am truly blessed.

It is tough to decline invitations and explain. it is a complicated dynamic I am not sure I understand fully myself. All I know is that when I do attend an event or celebration away from home I feel I am on the outside of the gathering. Isolated and on my own. I get this thought in the back of my mind that I’ve left Diane at home, in an empty house, and I can’t engage or enjoy the company of these really good people.

So I will remain home and celebrate on my own. No, I will not hold a solitary seance, or set a missing woman table, or even be sorrowful. I will cook a turkey breast, make some sausage and rice dressing, bake a pumpkin pie, and even scare up some veggies. All the while I will hear her voice, reminding me the gravy is going to burn if I don’t take it off the burner, or not to forget the pie in the oven, or helping to arrange place settings, or her sneaking in a little kiss before we sit down and say grace.

And I will be happy in my memories, and I won’t feel alone.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Joe